Thoughts on 65 years.

Health, Wealth & Wisdom.

New born eyes always cry with pain
First look at the mornin' sun
Fool, if you think it's over
It's just begun

(Chris Rae)

At 65 I can look back and understand that every time I thought it was over - it had just begun. Tragedies come in different ways. Some are full on and others take years and time. Life in my childhood home produced fear and panic as long back as I can remember. My father would drink and rage. He would physically and verbally abuse my mother and us. My mother was stoic. No emotion - no feelings - never even a hug. So I tried harder to please. My biggest problem was this ‘streak’ I had that showed itself off and on. The ability to see. To see what was really happening. Some people would say I was a truth teller, all I saw was the hatred that was turned on me after speaking. I valiantly fought to keep that aspect hidden. The last words my father said to me on his deathbed was “you have always been a problem to us.” I did not know he would die the next day at 56. I had always felt I was a problem.

By the time I was 22 I had had been told most of my life that I was “too sensitive” - “to everything”: a problem. At 6 I had received the sugar cube polio vaccination. Within 48 hours I could not walk on my left leg. I was brought to the hospital where I spent 3-1/2 months on penicillin drip. After a few weeks they put me in a body cast because I was 'too active’. I have no memories of that time it is blank. When I returned to school on crutches I was knocked down and suffered a concussion. I was back in that same hospital and will never forget the nuns unhappy faces when they saw me again. I was a problem. I spent some days there and was sent back home. At school I couldn’t learn. In fact every report card said the same: “if she could only pay attention”. I don’t remember much about elementary school but I had one teacher who realized that I couldn’t see the board. I was taken to get glasses and I remember excitedly telling everyone that the trees had leaves - they were only big blobs of green before. High school came. No one understood the damages of antibiotics to the gut and my acne was uncontrollable. They decided that Tetracycline (antibiotic) would be the right action. And my acne receded -so for over 8 years they kept me on it - though the stomach pain and alternating constipation with diarrhea continued. Ah, but the migraines. They started my first year of high school and for the next 10 years I suffered. In those days they gave antibiotics for those headaches too. I spent so much time away from people and being sickly I had become melancholic and introspective, I was a problem.

An amazing thing happened at around 15. I became athletic. I had always been an active child but I discovered I was good at sports. This saved me. I poured myself into volleyball, tennis and eventually at 18 - racquetball. I was not interested in parties or boyfriends, I was in tournaments every weekend. My health problems, other than the migraines seemed to have vanished. I competed until I was ranked in the top 10 in Canada. I moved out on my own and was a paralegal at a large law firm.

I was 23 when I came to Christ - I had started to read the Bible. I had been raised in religion, but this was different - it was personal and I was changed. I was so excited. I tried to talk to everyone I knew and of course tried to speak to my family of origin. This was a mistake. I was rejected and became dead to them. I was involved at church. I met a man. His family was well known and were highly respected. I thought this would be the family I never had. 7 months after meeting him I was married. I was pregnant 5 months after that. I lived rurally in Washington State. I had seen alcohol and drug use occasionally prior to marrying my ex-husband but for the next 6 years I realized that it was a major problem. It took years to realize that the problem was not drinks or drugs but a hollow, empty human who could not feel. He was highly religious, however, and my life was ruled by his beliefs of woman’s place. My basic personality was a problem and for the first 10 years I was buried in rearing 3 children and trying desperately to be a “Godly woman”. During this time I became ill. My body hurt all the time and those headaches. I had a car accident and even though there was no outer body injuries - I was bedridden. I had many chiropractors and doctors. I was chanted over, prayed over, spine adjusted, blood, stool and breath tested and tested again. The consensus was the same - “I was fine”. So, the psych medications began. I was given klonopin, elavil, flexiril, Effexor and sleep meds. I was given pain injections into pain points of my body.

There was no personal computers and internet at this time and so I read books. I buried myself in books. I read all Biblical writings I could find as my in-law family collected books from estate sales. I was reading books by so many giants of the faith along with studying my Bible daily. I also homeschooled - started in 1989 and all the way through the 90’s. I had to lay down every afternoon. God was my personal constant companion - I lived in joy unless I spoke with my husband about any of it so I learned to not share and journaled it all. In 12 years we moved 14 times. Why? After years I can only guess that it was a form of control. We moved to Southern California for my husband’s work in 1992. All the medications made me reclusive. I could not drive at night and I began to suffer severe panic attacks. I had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, MS and Lupus. I would travel miles to meet a doctor who had written a book or who someone knew about. I even went to the LA area to meet an endocrinologist -Dr. Paul St. Amand - a doctor who created the Guaifenesin Protocol for fibromyalgia. After 5-6 years of weird rules and beliefs which cured nothing, I saw over 26 doctors. At one point they tested me for “Thoracic Outlet Syndrome” because of numbness of my left arm and fingers. The surgery was basically using a mallet to pound out one of my ribs. They removed it. This was supposed to free up a bundle of nerves and cure the numbness. It did not work and I had to breathe into a machine for my lungs for 4 months. More medications. Then there were polyps on my throat and I had a surgery to remove those. Couldn’t talk after that for a while…. more medications. The foods I could eat had whittled down to only a few but it must be mentioned here that my understanding of healthy was eating seed oils like canola oil/vegetable oils and lots of whole grains. I had a Bosch Bread Maker and took great pride in milling my own flour and making fresh bread. As things got worse I was told by the health mavens of the day that I needed “to be more alkaline”. So I began eating copious amounts of Spirulina, homemade yogurt, green juicing and no meat. I was even told to eat soy to ‘help’. Meat was evil.

I buried myself in health books. Everything and everyone I could find. The early to mid 90’s were instrumental in understanding fungal overgrowth. Dr. C. Orian Truss - “The Missing Diagnosis”and Dr. Crook’s “The Yeast Connection” were two early books that had a huge impact. After implementing the anti-candida diet recommended, taking natural antifungals and starting Colon Therapy sessions my body and brain began to change. It was major. I started to come alive. I stopped the green drinks and the grains. I cut out all sugar but did not yet realize seed oil problems. I soon realized I needed to get off my medications. The doctors who prescribed them would not help me remove them. Through dial-up Internet I found groups of people weaning off of drugs. Effexor and Klonopin withdrawals were the worst thing I have ever experienced but after two years I was done. I had been utilizing colon therapy, coffee enemas and castor oil packs throughout and finally I was free. I filed for divorce.

I started my own little Colon Hydrotherapy office and was finishing school for clinical nutritionist certification. I was about 2 months into living on my own and I was able to make it financially for a while after the house was sold. One morning I found the lump in my left breast. I couldn’t believe it - surely not now? NOW? My doctor sent me for an ultrasound and they recommended a biopsy. It was positive for breast cancer. At this same time I had taken a 4 day seminar on Medical Ozone Therapy with Dr. Frank Shallenberger in Marina Del Rey. Dr. Shallenberger needed a colon hydrotherapist in Carson City, Nevada. I drove there - I saw the office, met them all. But I couldn’t move with the breast cancer diagnosis and with both daughters graduating high school in the next two years. Ozone therapy (Oxygen + Ozone = 03) was too expensive via doctor appointments and I knew I needed it often. I learned about equipment and I learned how to obtain it and use it at home. I bubbled 03 into water and drank it, I bought an ozone sauna and used it 4 days out of 7. I made Ozonated Olive Oil and put it on the breast lump and ingested it. I did vaginal and rectal insufflation. I did Direct IV ozone regularly. The Cancer Doctor was not pleased. They had tested me for the ‘breast cancer gene’ and I had it. He told me it was inevitable that I would die if I did not do a double mastectomy/radiation/chemo. I told him of my years of sickness, how I had recently changed my diet and had weaned off 5 medications. I told him I would probably die on chemo and radiation. I asked for a lumpectomy only and the doctor said no- that I needed to do his full anti-cancer program. I had my doctor call him - he reluctantly relented. I had been tested for lymph involvement prior to lumpectomy surgery and none was found. When I came out of surgery I had a large scar under my left arm - they had removed lymphs. A week later I had the post-op appointment. Doctor comes in with two nurses flanking him. All with arms crossed. I tell him that I KNOW that the pathology results are going to say no lymph involvement so why did he remove them when we already knew? He threw down the clipboard and left the room. Results: NO LYMPH involvement as I thought as well as NO cancer legs/cells around the lump. I took no post-op pain or other medications. I used Ozonated Olive Oil immediately in the open lumpectomy area. I immediately used my ozone sauna. My lymphs restructured themselves and my body recovered. I never went back to that doctor nor any doctor since. Its been 20 years.

I had begun to eat mostly meat. I felt the best on meat alone and as yet there were no doctors and books speaking of its benefits as there are now. I dropped all seed oils and stopping eating out for the most part. I went back to school to be an FDN - Functional Diagnostic Nutritionist. At the same time the local school district hired me to teach the parents nutrition. I bought a motorcycle and traveled California, Nevada and Arizona. I was hiking, walking and working out regularly. I received certification as an ADAPT Functional Health Coach. I traveled to Ozone Congress seminars for Dentistry and Medical Doctors. In 2024 I have no symptoms of disease or ill health. I have turned 65 this month and I rejoice in the Lord for the life He has given me. I seek to walk in truth and trust God via the Holy Spirit to direct me. I do not trust in man or authorities in this world for my health or for my Spiritual understanding.

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